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malevolent design weblog

This blog is now defunct, but you can find more stuff over at my personal site

The Dark Art of LOLspeak

You can now download the LOLspeak Translashun Dictionary, which provides Ruby code, a command line app and an OS X custom dictionary. It’s surely only a matter of time before someone produces a complete LOL-OS featuring feline-themed applications written in LOLCODE.

For anyone deranged enough to want a simple PHP option, feel free to use this crude translation code from the LOLinator (tweaked slightly to deal with plain text rather than markup):

function LOLtxt($txt)
 $txt = mb_strtolower($txt);  // or use strtolower()
 $txt = str_replace(array('great', 'some', 'your', 'text',
  '!', '?', ',', ':', 'ready', 'birth', 'christmas',
  'because', 'does', '$', 'million', 'billion', 'myspace',
  'youtube', 'facebook', 'apple', 'microsoft', 'google',
  'work', 'phone', 'ill', '&', 'about', 'home', 'blog',
  'navigation'), array('grate', 'sum', 'ur', 'txt',
  '!!?!', '??!', '...', '=', 'reddy', 'burf', 'xxxmass',
  'coz', 'do', '$$$', 'billian', 'zillian', 'meowspace',
  'mewtube', 'furbook', 'froot', 'milkysoft', 'gurgl',
  'wurk', 'fone', 'il', '+', 'bout', 'hoem', 'bl0g',
  'navigayshun'), $txt);
 return preg_replace(array('/\bone\b/', '/\btoo?\b/',
  '/\binto\b/', '/\b(yeah|yes)\b/', '/\b(hi|hello)\b/',
  '/\bhas\b/', '/\bhave\b/', '/\byou\b/', '/\bare\b/',
  '/\b(am|are)\b/', '/\b(was|were)\b/', '/ite\b/',
  '/ly\b/', '/ing\b/', '/\bis\b/', '/\bthe\b/',
  '/\band\b/', '/\bwith\b/', '/([rtpdg])s\b/',
  '/([klmnbvcei])s\b/', '/ck\b/', '/([^aeiou])er\b/',
  '/\bwhat\b/', '/though\b/', '/\bof\b/', '/est\b/',
  '/\boh\b/', '/\ban?\b/', '/ight\b/', '/\btime\b/',
  '/\bbe\b/', '/\bfor\b/', '/\bfrom\b/', '/ty\b/',
  '/(\'|’)(s|re|d|ve)\b/', '/[tc]ial(|ly)\b/', '/sign\b/',
  '/ted\b/', '/ive\b/', '/\bsays\b/', '/\bsaid\b/',
  '/(smile|laugh)/', '/\b(cat|kitten)(s?)\b/'), array('1',
  '2', 'in2', 'yep', 'hai', 'haz', 'has', 'u', 'r', 'is',
  'wuz', 'iet', 'li', 'in', 'iz', '', 'n', 'wit', '$1',
  '$1z', 'k', '$1a', 'wtf', 'tho', 'uv', 'es', 'o', '',
  'ite', 'tiem', 'b', '4', 'frm', 'tee', '', 'shl$1',
  'sine', 'not', 'td', 'iv', 'sez', 'sed', 'lol',
  'kitteh$2'), $txt);

Of course, the actual site also employs a crack team of trained kittens to frantically throw together wacky images and ugly page layouts with FrontPage 98.


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